I read something a friend of mine posted a few months ago about being disturbed by hearing someone tell a young girl that she was “pretty to be dark skinned,” and it immediately triggered some things that have been on my heart for a little while now. Our mindsets on beauty and phenomenology have completely gone down the drain, past the sewage system, and are out in some never discovered sea awaiting someone to just drink a sip from it.
Let’s examine this generation for a moment! Women: You have been brainwashed so badly that you actually believe that your worth is defined by your exterior. You have this thirst to wear designer everything, to have hair like anybodys but your own, to have the body of whoever’s currently trending, to perform sexual acts with as man as if he is your own, as if you are the current popular porn star or video vixen, and to be “independent” or “better off without a man or friends,” basically to be everything that you’re not… or were made to be!
What happened to the true definition of a phenomenal women?! When did it all of a sudden become degraded to being a sex object who can pay her own rent each month, take a vacation here and there, carry a Louis V. bag and afford a descent car? What made you feel like that makes you superior to the next male or female?? When did being phenomenal entail giving the current man, who’s interest you’ve temporarily acquired, as many orgasms as he can handle… until he gets tired of you of course… When did being phenomenal become dependent on having the attention of the male and/or female species because of the words that you say or the way that you present your artificial package to try and hide the deep, scars, fears and insecurities?! When did being a phenomenal women diminish to giving not just your body but your time and your heart to this man, this woman, that man, that woman, the next man, the last man and someone else’s man…….
This is the message that lit the fire for me to share this with my people:
“We are losing sight of our beautiful black women to feed into social expectations. I never want to hear ” YOUR PRETTY FOR A DARK SKIN GIRL” again… why would anybody say that to a child? Real beauty is the essence of who your are. Own up to your beauty but be humbled. DONT SHOUT IT… allude it… what happen to being a phenomenal women?”
And the young woman who wrote this is light-skinned!… I hope that message made you all feel the way it made me feel! But this is only a smidget of the issue!
What happened to beauty being in the eye of the beholder or being seen and not heard?? Why have we stopped looking up to women such as Queen Esther and Coretta Scott King?? We’re in a time where social networks have caused people to lose touch with reality and we’re now walking billboards, trying to “market” ourselves as best as possible, not leaving anything to the imagination or to be discovered. Selling ourselves and our souls for attention, trying to fill/feel that void that’s deep within. When did soliciting how sexy you are become classy??? What does your sex have to do with you as a being?? What is your sexiness doing for humanity, nature, children, hunger, war, violence, or the world???…
What happened to class!
Even worse, we have turned on each other! Women use to fight for freedom, then equality, and now we fight ourselves! Don’t you know that when you betray, deceive and belittle one another it is a direct reflection of the hate, evil and insecurities that lie within yourself!!! Women are the fruit givers, the life givers, the vital foundation that keeps the world alive and we have an obligation and responsibility to remain focused! Don’t you understand that if we lose focus so does the world??? What a woman does while she’s pregnant, eats while she’s pregnant, thinks while she’s pregnant, speaks while she’s pregnant, listens to while she’s pregnant and even what she does with her body before she gets pregnant, directly affects the child that she is carrying! …And we wonder why so many people are so messed up! It starts with the foundation! I am not saying that women are solely responsible for this mess because they could not have done it alone, just like Eve didn’t eat that apple alone!
Men! Men, men, men,…. something we rarely see in this day and age. Not just a term but a being that is becoming extinct right before our very eyes! What happened to MEN! What we have nowadays are lost little boys! Boys thinking that the world revolves around them! Thinking someone owes them something! Thinking that there is an easy way to life and trying to find it instead of working hard like the men in the Bible did! Indeed God made man first and in his image but that is not obtained without work! Men worked for years and years and years before they even thought about asking a women to be theirs! They worked to set up a life for their families so that their families would have a jump start on setting up life for their families and so on. Some of our great grandfathers worked for 2 and 3 dollars a week and they would save one of those dollars each week and were able to buy their own property and homes and send our mothers and fathers to college, and have something to call their own, which are things that we can now call our own and allow our kids to call their own!.. But what happened???!!! What happened to men valuing a woman and her family and background, drive, spirituality, ambition and intelligence??? Nowadays all a man values is the size of a woman’s butt and breasts and how much money she can attribute to the relationship so that if HE fails he knows he wont have to stop driving his Acura and wearing his gucci shoes……………………
What type of world have we come to that a woman is considered worthy based off the color of her skin??? We all came from the same fruit, from the same tree, from the same branches and now our minds have been poisoned so badly that we are killing ourselves and each other and we don’t even realize it! The devil is doing a magnificent job, I must say!
It hurts to see the way men gracefully talk about our women as if they are a pair of shoes or a free pamphlet. It hurts so bad to see our women look at one another with such hatred and deceit because we are so selfish! It hurts to see women in such a deteriorating state that we’ve convinced ourselves that it is perfectly okay to be that piece of meat that we once were beaten to believe we were, but now we don’t have to be chained, raped and sold, we do that to ourselves, …freely!
I’m disappointed in our generation, this world has never been perfect but it appears that we have totally given up! We are now at the point where we’ve surrendered to deceit and stopped fighting! We’ve given into the lies that we were once forced to listen to and believe. Who is going to stand up and fight, it only takes one person to plant the seed of truth and start going against the grain. Are you going to make a difference or are you going to fall in line like everyone else. Sure, it wont be easy, you’ll be criticized and ridiculed but that’s when you know you’re doing something right!
Your worth is not in your bra or panty size, or the texture of your hair or tone of your skin! Your beauty, your value and your worth are far, far, far more deep within!!!
By Tiffani Addison