I didn’t realize how much brokenness there was around the idea of family, until I became apart of my own. This notion that vowing to love one person for the rest of your life and procreating with them means you have to give up or lose yourself is the furthest thing from the truth. I am more fulfilled within one regular day with my squad than a seven-day paradise vacation.
For me, growing up in a strong family environment with both parents, having participated in many different sports and activities as a child, completing high school, college, joining the workforce, working in several different arenas, having traveled, and then finished graduate school, taught me a lot about the world as well as myself, and filled me with a wealth of knowledge. Focusing on myself, before joining a union with someone else and then bringing children into this world, gave me the time and space to go through many different experiences, which allowed me to learn about myself and others. I believe that one of the most important factors in being able to be a strong, stable and anchored individual in any relationship or setting, you have to first have a relationship with God, and secondly you have to have a relationship with yourself.
I don’t long for anything more than I do to just be present with my family and serve them. I wouldn’t want anyone else to fill this position day in and day out. I need my husband and babies’ love just as much as they need mine. When you work together, with a common goal, it eliminates the weight of imbalance and the risk of losing anything, especially yourself.
In becoming a wife and a mother, I’ve learned to love and be loved unconditionally. I’ve learned and gained the depths, heights and widths of strength, courage, long-suffering and patience. I’ve felt and experienced unspeakable joy and I now value, protect and cherish the gift of peace. When you are blessed to elevate to the costly yet rewarding role of being the nucleus of your home, you too will see that every experience beforehand equipped you for the tasks at hand.
You will soon know that all things truly worked together for your good, AND God is nowhere near through with you. Whatever your desires before or after going into marriage, are now even more attainable. Two can work faster than one! You may have to re-prioritize some things, but that’s all in God’s timing and what’s for you is for you. I truly believe that in having a family, you gain and polish your skills, in which will only benefit whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish anyway. To be completely honest, you do lose a part of yourself, but you gain something even better! I mean, isn’t that the goal? To continually grow?… Those dreams, hopes and desires that you carried before, become refined, as you get to cultivate those gifts within the safety and grace of your family—and in doing so, you’re gifting them to your next generation—before you go out and share those gifts with the rest of the world.