I pray that in sharing this, I and someone else are healed because I do believe that there is power in our unity. My son was born on the same day as Trayvon Martin. My unspeakable joy was met with heartache as I remembered the pictures of Trayvon as a baby and even still as a kid when he was murdered by a grown man. My son was and still is considered off the charts in height and weight for his size and age—while that made my husband and I excited and proud to see our genes and DNA come together beautifully to create this child who displays a culmination of the looks, gifts and talents of our ancestors—I couldn’t help but think about how this may negatively affect him in the world we live in.
When I held him and looked into his eyes, I prayed that the world would see the purity in him as I do, and when he smiles, I prayed the world would feel the warmth I feel from the joy that bursts out of him as he learns and explores this new adventure called life. I prayed that his size wouldn’t threaten others but cause them to admire and/or respect him in whatever way God intends to use it, instead of hate or fear him for it. Sometimes when I watch him play, I wonder how much time I’ll get to experience this level of love, if I’ll be robbed of it, or if I’ll be one of the Mom’s who’ll get to watch their children’s children play one day.
I know I’m not alone, so I decided not to live isolated with these thoughts anymore. Ones I constantly have to rebuke and pray away. Feeling too embarrassed or ashamed to share, because while I’m not supposed to live in fear or speak it into existence, I can’t help but wonder what would make me any different than all of the mothers who have lost their sons over the course of our existence. I’m sure they loved their sons, prayed for them, educated, protected and cared for theirs just as much as I do mine. So, all I can do is continue to hope, pray, educate, protect, and remember, that God loves him more than I could ever even begin to imagine, that he ultimately belongs to God and that he’s temporarily entrusted in my care, cherish, learn from and appreciate every moment I have with him, and continue to believe that God’s will is perfect, no matter what. 🙏🏾💘
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