Here’s what I’ve learned in the first week of this year… I’ve had to rebuke 3 people so far during the past 7 days. Both the numbers 3 and 7 represent completeness and wholeness, so I fully embrace these changes that I’ve prayed for, and desired for so long.
Fortunately for me, in each situation, I protected my peace and stayed true to who I am/am becoming. Unfortunately for them, it was believed that I was wrong or “out of character,” and the truth is, that’s precisely the problem. I take ownership for my part in allowing anyone to believe their comfort was/is more important than my peace. That’s my bad for allowing anyone to think they have that kind of power.
I’ve also noticed a common theme, by some of those who claim to love and support me, where they try to use my faith as a tool to insult me or make me feel less than. If I’m growing but they hate the very thing responsible for my growth, then are they genuinely for what’s best for me? Everyone seems to support you until your growth requires theirs as well… And I’m at a crossroads with a lot of things, and I choose me. It’s true, I’ve been too passive in the past, thinking I was loving/serving others by letting them get a pass—disregarding or disrespecting the very essence of what makes me who I am—But in actuality, I’m fueled because spaceships have to drop dead weight to elevate, and sometimes people just simply grow apart.
I serve a God of war, so unless that’s what you want, go do what you do and let me do what I do, in peace. It’s because of my faith that I don’t act out of impulse and immaturity, but instead out of deep thought, meditation, consideration, patience, empathy, and love. Some of you allow your emotions to rule you, and then you call it being “real,” when it’s just real weak. Some of you should be thanking grateful, because it’s my faith that keeps me from talking more with my hands literally and figuratively…
For anyone reading this that may be next, just know, it’s truly all love. In my world, there are people’s emotional intelligence, mental stability and spiritual enlightenment that are dependent on and tied to my wholeness, consistency and nurture. So my clarity and peace will be protected at all costs. This is non-negotiable. I can’t truly love anyone else if I don’t first truly love myself, and I choose me.